Touch
by Anytha84
Summary: "It was just a brush of their hands. A swift caress that stops him. Suddenly." FitzSimmons' thoughts at the beginning of episode 1x07. Slightly spoilerish. This is placed after 'Unconditionally' and 'Each other's Shield' but it's not mandatory to read them. R


FitzSimmons is my current obsession..I just have to admit it. It's not just Agents of Shield that's amazing, it's them and their adorableness (is that even a word?!)

Anyway..

This takes place during the beginning of 'The Hub'. I was smiling the whole way during their scene.

There are minor spoilers here and there.

Hope you guys like it..

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN AGENTS OF SHIELD.

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_Touch_

The scene was achingly familiar.

He felt as though he was reliving the night after her jump from the Bus but wasn't sure if their roles were reversed or not.

They were in his bunk, talking as though it was a normal occasion but it wasn't.

He was packing for this mission that only one like him and one like Agent Ward could accomplish. Why the officials of the Hub had chosen them was beyond him.

Point was, he was off for his first, active field mission.

Without Jemma.

The mere thought was consoling and utterly terrifying at the same time.

As he packed his bag, he tried to ignore his erratic heartbeat and nerves and tried to concentrate on her. Jemma, sitting on his bed, bag by her side and talking-rambling actually.

If it wasn't for her rigid posture and the fact that she was looking in front of her and not at him, he would have thought that they were back at the Academy and she had visited him in his dorm room again.

He almost wished they were.

Times were easier then. Less dangerous, less demanding. Less difficult.

And he didn't have this extreme _need_ to watch his friend constantly. See how she moved gracefully, how her hair fell down her shoulders in soft curls, how her eyes would widen or light up while working or how her smile just lit the room.

There were moments that he was so blinded by her, he wondered how he could just go on without telling her anything about his feelings.

And that simple thought would knock him out of his stupor and make him look away.

He didn't know what to make out of these emotions in his heart, yet alone tell her about them.

'I'll sort them out..' he promised himself, 'But not now... now focus on the mission..'

-:-

She was rambling.

She knew that and a certain part of her mind was telling her to _stop talking already_ but to no avail. She knew that she always tended to over-talk (and scare the hell out of people with frightening, unknown facts) when she was nervous.

Or worried.

Or downright _terrified_.

And the thought of Leo going on a two-man mission without her could be listed in the latter.

He was nervous too. She could see it from his body language: his rigid frame, his tensed shoulders and locked jaw but most of all his eyes.

His blue eyes were rarely this somber and laced with nervousness. The thing that worried her the most was the fear that she read in them: she knew him well enough to see past the emotions he wanted to convey.

After all, she behaved the same way. She knew that he could see the unseen emotions she was hiding: they were both hiding them.

And they both didn't have a bloody clue on how to deal with them.

"Jemma.." Her heart did a small jump as he spoke her name so softly. "Stop. Stop worrying about me. I can do this."

Had it been another moment, he would have been less than impressed of her not-so-subtle mistrust in his capabilities. Had it been another time, he would have probably retorted or argued with her. And she would have argued back.

But now, their interactions were slightly different.

They still clicked together and worked as one but in moments like this, when it was just Leo and Jemma and not FitzSimmons, they noticed the differences and allowed this large cloud of unsaid things to envelope them.

He took the anti-venom pack she gave him and put it his bag, murmuring a thanks.

"Don't you do anything rash while I'm gone.." He lifted his head from the bag and looked at her as he said this. She eyed him questioningly. "Like jump out of an airplane.."

Their stares didn't waver as they just held their gazes for a few moments, eyes on each other.

Of course he would say _that_.

The catalyst.

The whole event that had brought to..this. This situation that she couldn't even define.

His eyes were serious: he was serious. He really meant what he said.

She looked away, lips half-quirking on one side as to show him that she was finding his worries ridiculous...while she, truthfully, wasn't.

She was realizing that if this rising fear and panic for his safety was even remotely close to what he had gone through when she jumped off the Bus, then she must have really hurt him.

If she had realized her feelings for him, going through their lives together in that instant before stepping back, what must have he thought?

'If something happens to him...' she thought for a second and then stopped. Her brain created a scenario that she wanted to obliterate from her mind.

If something happened to Leo, she wouldn't be hurt.

She would just.._shatter_. To pieces.

And Leo was leaving now.

This realization made her whole world reel.

-:-

It was just a brush of their hands. A swift caress that stops him. Suddenly.

Her fingers curl softly around his own, bringing comfort, showing care. He doesn't look at her and he knows that she's not looking at him either.

It was their.. thing.

Knowing what the other thinks but never saying it.

Knowing what the other feels but never questioning it.

And after her brush with death, this evasiveness has seemed to have increased. It never affected their work: nothing affected _that_ but it did seem to jumble with their emotions.

There were times when they seriously couldn't look at each in the eyes. Or at all.

And this just drove him mad because they just knew that something was..off but neither had the knowledge or courage to talk about it.

Some geniuses they were..

-:-

"_You'll be careful."_

It was a statement. She wasn't even asking him.. He just had to be.

"_Yes, I've handled worse.."_

It was an affirmation. No accuse or malice in it. She just had to understand and probably take example: if he dealt with it, she could too.

The stole a glance at each other as their hands moved away. The concern and fear were there: vivid and raw but neither wanted to talk about it.

Talking would expose these emotions. And then expose other feelings. It would bring to a meltdown that they didn't want to have now.

It was a confrontation that had to wait for a better moment. Maybe, they would be better prepared as well. Moreover, they had to look forward in having a moment together in the future now that he was leaving.

Silence lingered between them until she drew out her gift.

"_Your favorite sandwich. Prosciutto and Buffalo mozzarella."_ He watched the small package: he had seen it dozens of times in the past. The only difference was the small note with his name delicately written on it.

"_With your homemade pesto aioli?_" His eyes had turned lighter, she noticed. She handed him the sandwich. His eagerness made her heart clench a moment.

"_Just a hint."_ She smiled softly, bashfully almost, with a slight shrug of her shoulders. He looked at her, throat constricted by feelings and gratitude.

For a moment, it was almost as though they were _them_ again.

He understood the meaning of her gift, he appreciated her efforts. She understood the effort he was putting on this mission, the full-step forward he was taking.

And they both knew how scared the other was and how they had to pull it together for each other's sake.

So when it was time to leave, they shared one more glance. Their emotions were in full display for each other in their eyes but they -blatantly- put a brave face.

She smiled encouragingly. He smiled back bravely.

It was an open lie and they both knew it. It was facade but they both accepted it.

They were each other's Shield: they defended and protected each other.

As Leo walked away, Ward behind him, bag balanced on his shoulders, he slowly clenched his right hand, feeling her warmth still lingering on his knuckles.

Jemma watched him leave, feeling the smile fade away from her face and panic rising in her chest and quickly turned back to walk to her bunk. She clenched her right hand, feeling his warmth beneath her finger tips.

That touch was their beacon of hope till they were together again.

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Please, leave a review.. :)


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